the “ta-da!” factor

June 15, 2009

Oh. It’s Leo’s birthday today. I remember.

Someone I know has the “ta-da!” factor. And it’s not Loser (anymore). It’s Black Pearl. Let’s just call him Black Pearl. I don’t know. I just got that weird feeling. And no, it is definitely not love. More like a cross between an innocent crush and a weird envy. He has a “ta-da!” factor. Weird.

“ta-da!” factor definition: it’s when you feel like you’re with an awesomely great person beside you and you just want to tell it to him but you can’t because he’ll think you’re infatuated with him when you’re not because you’re insanely in love with another guy

Oh come on. I don’t like like Black Pearl. He’s okay, we get along well. He’s also a great friend. And he’s so coooool. Hahaha.

Concrete details: Yesterday he texted me saying he’s going to Naga with his family because his brother has a modeling gig. Yey! So we hung out. Walked around the mall. Talked about weird artsy-fartsy stuff. Camwhored a bit. Plus he bought a bracelet for our souvenir. His sister is cute. Haha.

Dot dot dot.

While I am typing this I’m thinking of Loser and I’m so distracted. It’s him again. I need to stop listening to sappy emo songs because when I do I recall his forlorn love with his freakin first love. And then I am hurt again. It’s stupid. I’m stupider because I fell in love with someone who won’t love me back as much as the one he originally loves. Maybe I should kill her so I would be happy and it will all be done with. Or maybe I should just get done with Loser so I could offer him back to her and they’ll all live happily ever after just like when they were madly infatuated with each other and before I suddenly came in the picture and ruined their sad sad love story.

Oh and maybe their theme song would be:

Is it too late to stop this pain that I have created?

For make-ups in the million dances that we shared

Is it too late I realized I’ve been such a fool

Is it too late I just want

One more chance to

Hold your hand again

One more chance to

Be the one your heart beats for again

If it’s okay I’d like a minute to speak with you

I’m sure that he will understand

Just want to say that you’re the best that ever happened to me

If it’s okay I just want

One more chance to

Be your guiding light

One more chance to

Be the one who makes things right again

One more chance to

Paint your brighter days

One more chance to

Be the reason you’re okay

One more chance to

Kiss you in the dark

One more chance to

Never ever be apart

I promise I won’t break your heart

Please can we just start again.

It’s the song I’m listening to. Haha. Rico Blanco, Start Again.

This is pointless. I will never be able to look at Loser again the way I did before. Not anymore. I mean, he has his Angel now. Who do I have? Raffy who also left me ruined and shitty and depressed?

-isablahblah-

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